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If you receive a black-tie optional invite, the best course of action is to err on the side of formality and wear a tux (if that means buying one, you might be surprised how much wear you get out of it)

But I understand the need to feel that everything is "smoothed out." I would just keep trying different options and hope that you find one that works

You are still dressed for business but not wearing your most formal attire

Barbra Streisand in Arnold Scaasi (1969) Is that a see-through pantsuit with a Peter Pan collar we see

Taking it up a notch, beach semi-formal requires higher quality pieces at tea length or longer, as well as formal flats, wedges, or thick heels

Style tip: Pair with sandals or slides and retro sunglasses for a true casual off duty vibe